Wrestling with Saints: A Prayer of Supplication

God, I know that, first and foremost, prayer is about attending to your presence in us and around us. I also know that my first aim in prayer is to seek out your wants and desires. I'm trying to do this, Lord. I'm trying.

I also know that prayer Is about interaction. It is a meeting, a dialogue, a two-way street, a give-and-take event. But so many times, O God, when I come to pray, I feel like these things get pushed aside and, instead, I have to fight against your saints. I hear them, in my head, saying things not of you. I hear them in person, when they speak ill and do so confidently. Lord, it comes off as a spiritual affront, a spiritual cover-up...even if they don't mean it or know they're doing it. So, Lord, I pray in humility that, if I am wrong in any of these situations, you'd show me. But I also pray, in my own confidence, that if these experiences are right, that your truth and justice would prevail.

I pray that your presence would intensify in my life. I don't want a sign, God, just your presence. Lord, help me to let go of the things I need to, in order experience you more deeply and authentically. Allow me to encounter and experience you more deeply. Help me to let go of my frustrations, worries, concerns, irritations, and even the wrestling matches with saints. May it be.