Praying with Psalm 18

“For You will light my lamp, Yahweh my God will enlighten my darkness.” -Psalm 18:28 When I have sought to illuminate my understanding with my own thoughts, my own speculation, it is like setting fire to my lamp covered in soot. It casts more shadows on my vision than light, just as my speculation covers my ears from hearing Your voice O Lord. This is my darkness: my own reasoning apart from You, thought after thought, speculation after speculation like a river I can not cross, nor can dam. Yahweh, damn all speculation, illuminate where there is darkness, rescue me from my self imposed prison of self preservation, self protection, from all selfish life striving apart from You. All striving apart from You is striving against You, and all striving against You is striving against Your desire to delight in me, and offer the good my spirit, soul, and body, heart mind and will truly need. Only Your holy fire can turn my night to day, Yahweh please bring Your morning in all of me. Amen.