My Deep Needs: A Plea & Confession

Prayer is that place

where my deep needs

rise with honesty to the surface

(most of the time)

but are not merely surface level.

Forty-one years I’ve

prayed more than my fair share of

flat, contour-less, and

bankrupt prayers.

Yet, I return to prayer

to hear you, meet you, to speak,

to hope. Last night

I pressed in for help,

I asked you to bless my enemy.

My prayer was short, raw,

and even as I felt somewhat muzzled,

by anger and bitterness, both

vying for the attention of my heart-mind,

you were in view.

I remembered to turn to you,

to read the emotional signpost

rather than follow

the distractions into the distance

far from home, out to

the landfill that looked like

a beautiful hill but

is simply cosmetic in nature.

I have no desire

to go there

and breathe in the smells

unless, of course,

you want to lead me there.

Where you go, I’ll follow

noticing you as you

pray in me for me

and that continually.

Amen.