A Prayer About Neglecting Prayer

I wonder if anyone around likes to pray?

Or do they neglect it sometimes, as I do,

because of the time and effort it takes

or the lack of intentionality and seemingly low return on investment?

I know, God, that my checking in

ebbs and flows from one day to another

even as I hope for a clear word, some hunch or direction,

something noticeable and obvious that

allows me to navigate the days on spiritual autopilot.

I cringe when I say that but

we both know it’s true.

The urge is there, even if sometimes more apparent than others

and regardless of my calloused heart or dulled senses.

Yet, Spirit, you keep nudging, keep interceding

until I notice you again,

preveniently calling for my attention

and popping my heart back into socket.

Each time it realigns the whole of me,

giving clarity to my eyes and ears; I can love again

purely and without ulterior motive.

I can pray again with honesty and sincerity.

O Holy Spirit!

O Spirit of God!

who am I that you are mindful of me,

that you desire to move about in me,

despite my inconsistent attention and devotion?

I wonder if others pray like I do?

I’m guessing most whom you indwell

have shared this tension in common with me.

Perhaps they’ve also discovered, as have I, that

the more I tune into your voice and simply notice,

the more I like praying.

Please, help me to notice more, to pray more.

I want to like to pray.