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Begin Again: A New Year's Prayer with a Broken Refrain

I begin again.

It’s a new year. It doesn’t feel much different than yesterday,

but supposedly it should feel like a new beginning.

To be quite honest, it feels a bit…anti-climactic.

To be quite honest, I’m forcing myself to sit and write this prayer.

To be quite honest, I want to keep it short. I’m tired.

I begin again.

With a question: How much does it cost to love you?

And another: How much does it cost to follow you?

I know the answers. I knew them as soon as I wrote the questions.

Answer: Everything. So,

I begin again.

I hope that in this new year, I can give you everything. All of me.

No shortcuts.

No cutting corners.

No holding things back.

No clinging.

I want to give everything to you.


All of me.

All I have.

Every emotion.

Every thought.

Every word.

Every deed.

Every person.

Every moment.

Everyone. And,


Here’s to a new beginning together, God. So,

̶I̶ ̶b̶e̶g̶i̶n̶.̶.̶.̶ We begin again.

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